Added: Claudius Holder - Date: 17.08.2021 11:41 - Views: 24966 - Clicks: 2569
When I look back at some of the most painful moments of my life, I see myself sitting alone, feeling either immense shame or regret.
From a distance, people always thought I had everything going for me. Up close, you could see the cracks in that facade: No matter what I got, I was painfully discontent and depressed, and often isolated in fear. I remember my last night in NYC at twenty-five, sitting in a tiny boxed-up efficiency studio apartment that I rented in a low-income building. For Many regrets long time I regretted that I went to the city where dreams come true and did absolutely nothing to go after mine.
Then I realized something: I was not that girl anymore, and in another second, I would again be someone new. The alternative is to accept that everyone makes mistakes and then focus on what we can do differently going forward. For me, that meant discovering why I was so afraid of putting myself out there. The rewards of learning to conquer that fear in the present far outweigh the pain of having given into it in the past. If you forgive yourself and bounce right back, you empower your children to respond the same way.
I know when I see someone fall down and get back up without stressing over what Many regrets could have done differently, I feel inspired. It reminds me that it is possible, and I can do it too. Most big mistakes present instant changes to reality as you know it. When I first arrived in NYC at twenty-two, I got involved in a pyramid scam, thinking it was a shortcut to success, and blew through my savings.
If you cheated on your boyfriend after one too many margaritas, you probably wish you could go back and show more restraint. Unfortunately, what you should have done is now irrelevant. All you can do is move forward from where you are. This is an invaluable skill because it empowers us to take positive action instead of falling into a shame cycle. Everything in life is impermanent. There are no guarantees in life—even if I make very few mistakes. You have to do some major life restructuring Many regrets rebound from whatever you just experienced.
Are your friends there for you, offering forgiveness and support—even if it takes them a little time to get there? If not, this may be a perfect time to remove unhealthy relationships from your life.
This may also give you a chance to strengthen your relationships. If you hurt someone else, take this opportunity to discover what really motivated your actions and then let yourself get vulnerable with them. I know many people who would sooner donate their organs to science than take responsibility. I realize mistakes oftentimes present challenges, but ultimately, you can only move forward if you find opportunities in your reality, whatever that may be. The crazy thing about regret is that it seems imperative sometimes—as if we have to indulge it like a bed Many regrets made and now have to lie in.
The only thing that keeps us stuck in lost possibilities is the refusal to focus on new ones. Life is now, and we always have a choice: Do we drown in regret over what never came to be, or use our energy to create what can be? Today, I am choosing the latter. Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. Many regrets recently launched a Mindfulness Kit to help reduce our stress and increase our peace and joy.
For daily wisdom, the Tiny Buddha list here. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is deed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment. Please seek professional care if you believe you may have a condition.
At any time, you can take your regrets and: 1. Identify and address your weaknesses. Use your mistake as a teaching tool. Use the opportunity to become better at adapting. Strengthen your ability to focus on things you can control. Embrace impermanence.
Evaluate your relationships. Get better at accepting responsibility. Challenge your thinking. Web Twitter Facebook More Posts. See a typo or inaccuracy? Please so we can fix it! Did you enjoy this post?
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Too Many Regrets: Living With Your Past