Johnson's struggle with Covid

Johnson's struggle with Covid

BORIS JOHNSON spent the night in the hospital for tests 10 days after confirming he tested positive for coronavirus.

Read more
Royal Fury

Royal Fury

Meghan Markle considers acting offers ‘cheesy and beneath her’ claim

Read more
A New Man Utd Deal?

A New Man Utd Deal?

Manchester United are likely to revive their £100million move for Dortmund star Jadon Sancho

Read more
Homepage / Outside MAN / Unromancing the stone: Is the surprise engagement dead?
Royal heartbreak – Princess Eugenie and Beatrice moved to tears on video call for cancer Meghan Markle heartbreak: Duchess fears for Archie’s social life amid lockdown loneliness Kate Middleton and Prince William give royal fans rare glimpse inside Kensington Palace Meghan Markle had ‘no intention’ of living in UK despite 2 million Frogmore refurb Prince Charles left shocked as Asda worker suddenly FAINTS halfway through chat with royal Man Utd’s win over Aston Villa proves Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has new undroppable Man Utd breathing down Chelsea and Leicester’s necks as Jack Grealish fluffs his lines David de Gea reacts to surpassing Peter Schmeichel Man United record What Solskjaer said about Anthony Martial reaction to being substituted Roy Keane sends Champions League message to Manchester United’s rivals Martin Lewis: Urgent warning for 800,000 claimants as SEISS grant deadline ends soon Armed police race to Glasgow flats after ‘ongoing incident’ in West End ‘I can’t breathe’ British police referred to watchdog over arrest footage Trending Entertainment News Today – RIP Jagdeep, Hina Khan and Sidharth Shukla to team up? When Robert Downey Jr. called Aamir Khan the ‘Tom Hanks of India’ Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai: Jaydeep Ashra to enter the show as Shivangi Joshi’s love interest? Doctors Accuse Rishi Sunak Of Overlooking The NHS In Summer Statement Rolls-Royce on brink: Stark warning to bosses ahead of major job cuts revealed Pension warning amid fears Britons could be coerced to opt out or reduce payments FTSE 100 LIVE: US economic recovery stalls as Asian stocks grind higher Taoiseach: ‘Banks should not profit from mortgage break schemes’ Electric car owners will have to pay for using all public chargers from August 10 Kapil Sharma throws a Guess Who challenge with a flashback picture – have you identified yet? SNP insist more action needs to be taken over North Lanarkshire rat problem Teen who stabbed dad with ‘Rambo style’ knife in Wishaw street avoids jail term #BLBestOf6: Tanhaji, Malang, Thappad — vote for the Best Film in the first half of 2020 Naagin 5: Asha Negi dismisses rumours of being a part of Ekta Kapoor’s show FTSE 100 LIVE:US stocks plummet halting a five-day winning streak Inheritance tax suitability – MP insists ‘it is not quite as large an issue’ as thought Post Office saving account rates revealed – How much interest could you earn? FTSE 100 LIVE: Markets tumble across Europe despite China stocks extending rally Frank Lampard throws down challenge to Chelsea stars with Man Utd Champions League warning Jack Grealish to Man Utd: Is Aston Villa ace good enough for United transfer? – Big Debate Camilla heartbreak: Duchess of Cornwall issues worrying advice over second wave outbreak Garcia reveals Man City hurt in dressing room after Southampton defeat Viewers react at story of mum who died of cancer after treatment was delayed Park filled with young children engulfed in ‘cloud of black smoke’ Meghan Markle speaks out on ‘uncomfortable’ past of Commonwealth in Royal Family first Trump Rage-Quits Fox News After Network Shows Him Trailing Joe Biden In Polls Queen’s rage: ‘Furious’ monarch forced to eject Fergie from Balmoral after X-rated gaffe Hansal Mehta requests Amitabh Bachchan to unfollow Kamaal R Khan on social media Retaliation trailer: Orlando Bloom is on a crusade against the Church in this psychological horror Nicola Sturgeon hits out at protest demo urging visitors to stay out of Scotland Police appeal following near miss between light aircraft and drone Brexit panic: City gripped by no deal fears and bracing for financial ‘regulatory warfare’ Dil Bechara trailer: Sushant Singh Rajput’s film is about love, hope and life Stamp duty ‘holiday’ to revive house prices in Rishi Sunak plan to save buyers thousands Queen broke royal protocol for Meghan Markle! Expert hits back at Duchess’ court claims Why the Queen rejected Sarah Ferguson’s first choice for Princess Beatrice’s name FTSE 100 LIVE: Banks urge UK and EU to sort financial market access as Brexit talks stall Ask Alison: ‘My husband lost his job but is still trying to keep up with his wealthy siblings’ Looks like working from home is here to stay – here’s how to do it without breaking your back State Pension rules are changing TODAY – are YOU affected? Nationalists set up protest at border in bid to keep Scotland ‘Covid-19 free’ Pod of killer whale surprise two fishermen in tiny boat off coast of Shetland RIP Saroj Khan: From Madhuri Dixit to Govinda — choreographer’s daughter REVEALS who kept in touch with her from Bollywood Kangana Ranaut’s team again accuses Taapsee Pannu of harassment; latter calls out ‘bitter people’ in response Alia Bhatt shares a picture with sister Shaheen and their new baby, Juniper Martin Lewis issues important advice to thousands on a payday loan agreement Mortgage free: Homeowner reveals how they paid off mortgage at 47 ‘Manchester is not Leicester but it could be if we don’t take care this weekend’ Police ‘increasingly concerned’ for woman missing from Bolton Man Utd ‘considering loaning out Eric Bailly’ and more transfer rumours Man Utd plunged into chaos as Bruno Fernandes and Paul Pogba are injured in training clash Netflix stands by film ‘365 Days’ which singer Duffy said ‘eroticises kidnapping and distorts sexual violence’ British Shadow Foreign Secretary brands Wigan administration ‘major global scandal’ and calls for full enquiry Man Utd blocked unique Inter Milan request during Alexis Sanchez transfer talks The Full List Of Countries Exempt From England’s Coronavirus Quarantine Meghan and Harry’s exit ‘orchestrated’ by Charles after Andrew’s BBC interview says author Queen fury: Monarch rejects public demands for Prince William to replace Charles as King Queen ‘devastated by Meghan Markle power play’ amid claims she was unprotected ‘Demanding’ Meghan Markle claims drop in ocean compared to what was going on behind scenes FTSE 100 LIVE: Global stocks rise as coronavirus recovery hopes grow- London market to dip Veteran choreographer Saroj Khan passes at 71 due to cardiac arrest; Akshay Kumar, Genelia Deshmukh and others offer condolences Filmy Friday: Jersey, Kaithi, Vikram Vedha – which south remake are you most excited for? Vote now Meghan Markle has learnt from her BIGGEST royal mistake amid Prince Harry’s title change Tax changes: ‘Radical’ shake-up ahead and Rishi Sunak has already ‘dropped hint’ ADVERTORIAL: Bakery reveals ‘lifeline’ which saved firm after Covid-19 crisis ADVERTORIAL: The campaign that has given more than a million meals to dogs across Britain Devoleena Bhattacharjee recalls her journey in Bigg Boss 13, says, ‘Proud of myself that I didn’t make headlines because of dating someone’ Universal Credit and legacy benefits may be reduced by lump sum back payments from the DWP FTSE 100 LIVE: Pound sees gains amid optimism for EU-UK Brexit trade deal – FTSE surges Devastated locals lay floral tributes for toddler killed in Morningside crash Credit card rules confirmed to change in two days – borrowers warned to ‘think carefully’ Sonu Nigam REVEALS what he is the most scared of, and it is not Bhushan Kumar Virtual kiltwalk challenge to raise money for Perth and Kinross Disability Sport Sushant Singh Rajput suicide: Akshaye Khanna requests Indian Government to start a CBI Enquiry in the case Aamir Khan crashing daughter Ira’s workout video is the cutest thing on the internet today Bank chief hails battered economy’s V-shaped recovery out of lockdown Whether by accident or design, 2020 has thrown up a trio of US period dramas with particular pertinence to the times we live in Covid-19: US buys up virtually all stocks of anti-viral drug remdesivir FTSE 100 LIVE: UK stocks hit by 18% drop in chaotic six months – full impact revealed Tax credits warning: Some people need to contact HMRC this month or payments will stop Solskjaer explains Manchester United midfield choice vs Brighton Man Utd great Gary Neville breaks silence on Liverpool title win Leicester ‘eye Chilwell replacement’ amid Man City speculation and more rumours Brighton vs Man Utd LIVE: Team news and line ups confirmed, Solskjaer makes changes Queen phones Donald Trump just hours after President’s attacks on female leaders revealed Sturgeon’s economic catastrophe: Scottish businesses have WORST confidence in whole of UK Meghan Markle fans HIJACK Kate’s video AGAIN ‘she’ll never be as effective as Meghan’

Outside MAN

Unromancing the stone: Is the surprise engagement dead?

In heterosexual relationships, this fantasy has been well-rehearsed through years of Hollywood films, fairy tales and romance novels. But now, the picture is starting to look quite different, as women have more of a say in their own engagements, and the proposal itself comes as less of a surprise.

Last week, research from diamond company, the De Beers Group, revealed that in the US, the number of women buying their own engagement rings doubled from seven to 14pc between 2013 and 2017. And in Ireland, a study this year by WeddingsOnline and Stonechat Jewellers found that only 20pc of women want their partner to choose their engagement ring, as an increasing number prefer to select one themselves.

“It’s actually a little bit unusual now that a guy comes in and has zero idea what his girlfriend wants,” says Kate Appleby, Marketing Manager of Appleby Jewellers in Dublin.

“Girls like having some sort of influence. A lot of the time, girls have heavily hinted so much throughout their relationship what they want that when guys come in, they have a fair idea. Or what I do see now quite a lot is that couples come in and the girl still doesn’t know when they’re going to get engaged, but they have a look at rings together and he’ll get an idea that way.

“It could be six months down the line that they get engaged, but he knows what she wants. It does take away the surprise element, but sometimes the guy just feels more comfortable doing that, and the girl does as well because she knows she’ll be getting exactly what she wants.”

In July, Kate married the former Leinster rugby player Dominic Ryan, but ahead of the proposal, she was careful to drop a few hints of her own about the kind of ring she had in mind.

“I’m constantly uploading pictures to the Appleby Instagram, and he loves looking at those. He’ll get out his phone and look through them all, and there were a couple of times with the style that I wanted, I’d be like, ‘Oh, I really like that one’. It was quite obvious what way inclined I was.”

Such hints can range from the subtle, such as pointing something out when passing a jeweller’s window, to the rather less subtle, says Martin Commins, Director of Dublin’s Bespoke Diamonds.

“Probably half the time, the guy has had some very unsubtle hints, like he’ll say, ‘this is a ring from your website she said she liked, and her finger size is whatever’. So the surprise is when [the proposal] happens more so than ‘what’s the ring gonna look like?’. That’s growing in popularity because you want to have something you want to wear every day, and a lot of people are thinking, ‘let’s get this right and propose when you want to propose’.”

Celina Murphy, Deputy Editor of OneFabDay.com, points out that as people get married later, it’s very rare for a proposal to come completely out of the blue.

“I think it’s just the way people’s lifestyles are these days – the average age of couples getting married in Ireland is in the mid-30s now. A lot of them tell us they’ve been together for more than a decade, some of them have kids and a house together, so the conversation around ‘when will we get engaged’ and ‘when will we get married’ and the ring just tends to come up,” she explains.

“We often hear from the bride-to-be that the proposal was a surprise, but the fact that it happened wasn’t a surprise. It’s something that’s discussed, but the groom still wants to have that proposal moment, so they have chats, and then there are periods of quiet where she’s wondering ‘maybe it’s coming now’ and he’s plotting the engagement.”

However, while people are happy to share their proposal stories over and over again, Celina notes that couples remain tight-lipped about who paid for the ring.

“It’s obviously still a taboo thing to discuss. I think, being Irish, it’s one of those things we’re a bit secretive about. It’s just assumed in a heterosexual relationship that the guy is to pay for the ring, even though a lot of couples now split things 50/50 and they have similar salaries. It’s a lot to ask one of them to cough up €5,000 suddenly. By not discussing it openly, we’re kind of leaving ourselves stuck in the past.”

While the trend for women buying their own rings hasn’t yet crossed over to our shores, Kate has observed women occasionally contributing to the cost of the ring.

“There have been instances where a guy comes in with a budget and she might like something that happens to be €300 over that. She doesn’t want to push him, but she does really want that ring, so she’ll pay the extra €300. But I’m not aware of any women buying it themselves. As far as I’m aware, the guy is paying for it and, in the majority of cases, he pays for it alone,” she says.

According to Martin, even when women do chip in, they prefer not to let their partners know about it.

“We might get a phone call from a woman saying, ‘We’re between two stones. Go with the bigger one but I’m gonna pay [the difference] myself, just don’t tell my partner’. But it would be rare enough that they would be openly splitting it. Guys still feel there is that obligation to buy the ring. How much longer that lasts, who knows?”

Financial contribution or not, women having a hand in their engagement rings can be to the benefit of both partners, even if it drains the element of surprise.

“There are good surprises and bad surprises,” says Martin. “There have been guys that have asked for ridiculous rings – there was a guy who wanted to represent his partner’s career as a vet, so it was a heart-shaped diamond turned upside down and three pear-shaped diamonds to be in the shape of a paw. That’s risky. It would have been a surprise, but would it have been a romantic one? Quite possibly not.”

When women take the reins and pick the ring, it helps to take the pressure off and eliminate that fear of disappointment.

“A lot of women, they know their partners. Some guys take notice of the jewellery they wear, the colour they wear, the size of their hand and, for others, their view is ‘a ring is a ring’. A lot of women are smart enough to realise if this is their partner’s forte: would they be good at this or not?” Martin notes.

“I don’t know if it kills the romance, but the risk element is removed. The romance comes from how it’s done. A lot more effort is being put into how they’re planning to propose, as opposed to ‘down on one knee with a box’. The question mark is when the guy is gonna propose. But they know that when they open that box, what they see, they’re gonna love.”

Irish Independent

Comments are closed.